Welcomed Back

I had a pretty special class with Amira Jamal, so I wanted to write about it. It was the sort of night that you dream of having. I have just come back from a few months of hiatus from class. I had been very stressed by my day job and going to a 2 hour evening class where you have to improvise a performance, not just drill movements, was a bit difficult for me. But lately, things have been going better and my schedule has cleared up, so I decided to return. I was in a great relaxed mood when I arrived.

Our drills went by quickly, even though I haven't done them in months – all the movements I used to struggle with actually seemed to come naturally and easily.

So, this semester, we are working on classics of bellydance music. Tonight, Amira Jamal put on a 5 minute version of Masha'al. Now, I've never danced to it before, but I've certainly heard versions of it. We were all improvising as a group and I was just loving every minute of it, although still feeling out the newness of this song to my ears. After our first run-through, she asked me if I would perform alone in front of the class. She said that I had really seemed to grasp the musical phrasing and she wanted the other students to see my interpretation so that they would have an easier time dancing to it. And she said to particularly notice my facial expressions.

So I danced through it, with my arabesques and my reverse circle turns and shimmies over figure 8s and all the things I do in the different parts of the song, just trying to respond to the music, stepping lightly where it seemed light and playful, hip-dropping into the heavy baladi section, emoting through the taxim. I played to each classmate like they were an audience member – and for some reason tonight it was easier. I guess it was because of all those restaurant patrons – you know you occasionally get the ones who don't want to smile at you and you just make 'em smile.

Afterwards, one woman said that watching me, she understood how the music worked. Wow, what a compliment. And to such complex music.

So all those long hours of practicing those really hard choreographies – the ones that started to make me doubt myself and wonder if I was getting any better? It is subtle but effective. I _was_ struggling with Randa's choreography and Hadia's "Layali Zaman", and still do. But with all that struggle, I was able to perform Masha'al and translate the music with my body – which ultimately is the goal of dance.

Right now, I feel pretty good. I know I won't get to be the star every time, but it does feel great when it happens.